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By some estimates, there are now roughly a half-million polyamorous relationships in the U. Some sex researchers put the number even higher, at 4 to 5 percent of all adults, or 10 to 12 million people.More often than not, they’re just office workers who find standard picket-fence partnerships dull.Elisabeth Sheff, a sociologist who interviewed 40 polyamorous people over the course of several years for her recent book, , says that polyamorous configurations with more than three people tend to be rarer and have more turnover.“Polys” are more likely to be liberal and educated, she said, and in the rare cases that they do practice religion, it’s usually paganism or Unitarian Universalism.Both of them say they knew from a young age that there was something different about their sexuality.“Growing up, I never understood why loving someone meant putting restrictions on relationships,” Michael said.“What I love about polyamory is that everything is up for modification,” Sarah says.Sarah had been accustomed to seeing Michael whenever she wanted, but she started to feel a pang when he spent time with Jonica.“At first I thought, ‘Is something bad happening, something I don’t want to support? “No, I want to support Michael and Jonica in being together. I can be an anxious person, so maybe I was feeling anxious. I might go for a walk or play guitar.“It’s part of learning a healthy self-awareness and the ability to self-soothe,” she added.“I notice what I’m feeling, and do a dive inward.”Two-person marriage, be it gay or straight, is still such the norm that even the most progressive among us do a double-take when someone says they like their relationships a little more populous.
They’ve been “nesting partners” for 12 years, but they’ve both had other relationships throughout that time.
But it became clear to me that for “polys,” as they’re sometimes known, jealousy is more of an internal, negligible feeling than a partner-induced, important one.
To them, it’s more like a passing head cold than a tumor spreading through the relationship.
Michael is 65, and he has a chinstrap beard that makes him look like he just walked off an Amish homestead.
Together, they form a polyamorous “triad”— one of the many formations that’s possible in this jellyfish of a sexual preference.